Faux News: All The News Fit For Sarah Palin To Fish…

Apparently, Sarah Palin has signed on as a commentator with Fox News (link courtesy of archmage).

I imagine it would go something like this…

Day 1: Take job. Tell people how awesome FOX News is.

Day 2: Anecdote about hunting bear. Talk up husband. More bear. Husband “likes beartrapping”. Talk about new glasses– they’re fancy, after all.

Day 3: Tell people how the how being a commentator is like being a point guard.

Day 4: “Jokingly” tell people that Rupert Murdoch hasn’t reimbursed you for your new wardrobe, with a wink.

Day 5: Call in, but tell them that they can come to you for commentary while you’re out fishing with the family.

(Week 2)

Day 6: “Am I allowed to say that Oprah was mean to me yet…?”

Day 7: Take stance to alienate even more of the mainstream Republican Party.

Day 8: Imply that there was an offer to move you so that you could be on The Real Housewives of Orange County, but that you turned it down.

Day 9: Find out that Bravo is affiliated with NBC, disavow personal implication from the day before.

Day 10: “Jokingly” tell Bill O that he’s to refer to you as Governor Palin. Sans wink.

(Week 3)

Day 11: Harry Potter books are a demon possessing the nation.

Day 12: “Why won’t he defer to me as Governor?!?” email to Rupert leaks.

Day 13: Call in, something about contractual obligations to book tour. Fox News employees are frisked and asked to be patient while standing in line… for book signing in cafeteria.

Day 14: Claim “Governor’s Pick” rule applies to the fresh donuts. Bill O demands to know who took his f**king donut. He demands it live.

Day 15: “Alaska is bigger than Canadia. You know, have I ever told you about the Great Moose Hunt of 2008…?”

Disclaimer: No, I’m not “anti-Republican”, per se (I don’t blindly ascribe to any given political party)– I just don’t care for Sarah Palin. At all. I also know the difference between a democracy and a theocracy– we in the United States live in the former, not in the latter.

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